i realise i'm only blogging once every month now. haha. oh well, it's not like i have a blogging schedule to keep up with, and it also goes to show that i'm really working hard now. =P

i got back my progress report yesterday. since the results were already known, there wasn't any surprises. so here goes: (in order of mark, grade and percentile)

General Paper: 53, D, 73

(the marks were quite funny. i thought i did well for the comprehension but i totally screwed it up and only got 21/50. i thought i did VERY badly for the essay but i ended up getting 28/50. haha. anyway, barely passing still got me a percentile of 73. goes to show how b*d my school's GP is. =X)

Mathematics: 42, S, 12

(i was really upset with myself for failing mathematics again. i know i DID study for it, but somehow it still wasn't enough. i panicked when i was doing the questions on statistics. i keep thinking that i've really let mrs leong down. =( sigh...)

Chemistry: 50, C, 73

(the first paper we got back was chemistry. i thought i would FINALLY be able to get 60 plus for chemistry. but it was a pathetic 49 marks! i was REALLY angry with myself. i could have gotten at least 50 plus if i haven't made those STUPID careless mistakes. i know i shouldn't be too hard on myself since the cohort didn't do very well either. but still....)

Biology: 43, E, 43

(like expected, i failed biology again. i think it has already been a tradition for me to fail biology since the march common tests. i don't know why but i just can't seem to be able to study smart for biology. i need someone to teach me how to study for biology! help! and worse still, i'm always lacking in the main points and terms when answering questions. sigh. but on a brighter side, i managed to pass after moderation! =D and according to chee leong, i'm still top 4 in class! haha. cause there are only 4 people taking biology in my class. -.-)

China Studies in Chinese: 48, E, 28

(considering the fact that i didn't study, except on the actual day of the paper itself, my essays were quite average. it was the source-based questions that killed me. i got like only 7 or 8 upon 30? ouch. i use to score 20 plus for my history and social studies source-based questions. =( i didn't manage to fulfill the exact requirements of the questions. sigh. but then again, how do you expect us to score well when we've only had 2 or 3 times of practices??! )

all in all, there isn't really much to say about my results. just that i'll have to keep working harder. as quoted from the tutors: 'there's no use in being sad over your results already. you can only look forward now.'

[will i really be able to make it? will i really be able to get my As for my H2s? i'm not really sure about this. but i am sure that if i REALLY work hard, i'll surely be able to. but the problem i face now is getting myself to work hard. -.- time seems to be getting shorter and shorter. sigh.]

shall add a quote that i'm using to motivate myself now:

人因梦想而伟大，而这梦想只有靠自己的努力才能够达成！=)

大家一起努力吧！=）

ps: what's wrong with blogger? the toolbar that allows one to 'design' blogposts seems to be missing. weird...

-siLvia =)

i don't know what's wrong with me these few weeks. i feel strangely alone. i think all the staying-at-home days are starting to get to me. i tried asking a few people out. but they are all busy with their own things. i know that i'm not being fair by being upset with them for not making the time to go out with me. and it's not like they have an obligation to spend time with me. i keep having really negative feelings about myself, and i'm even starting to doubt how i view our relationships. is it true that sometimes i really think too highly of myself? i'm not THAT important to them. to them, i'm just another good friend that they have encountered in their lives, amongst the hundreds other good friends that they have. maybe if i don't regard these relationships so highly, it'll make things much more easier for them and for me. i was able to hang out by myself in primary 6. being alone had never been a problem for me. but why does it seem so hard now? have i been too accustomed to having people around me? have i been too spoilt and pampered by my friends? i'm not supposed to be like this. things use to much more easier when i chose to be by myself. i did not have to worry about where the other person is. i did not have to spend a lot of time waiting for the other person. i could go as i like and come as i want. i would be able to rely solely on myself and on no one else. neither did i have to spend time trying to humour the other person nor worry about how the person feels. i would be able to spend time studying at home myself and would not be feeling so lonely like how i'm feeling now. i'm SICK of all these....

i've been 'busy' with the korean and manga versions of hana yori dango. why?! kind of 'late' and 'backward' right? i only start watching the drama after teng, qing and shin are past the 'being-crazy-over-boys-before-flowers' period. -_- anyway, i have to agree that yi-jung is really very handsome. haha...

watching movie with lijun and having dinner with lynn on monday. =)) i'm definitely looking forward to that. =D

-siLvia

; 12:15 AM

Sunday, May 10, 2009

Happy birthday to me~

Happy birthday to me~

i turned 18 on saturday! =) yay.... haha. a big thanks to everyone who made my birthday this year a happy one. thank you people! love ya! =))

my birthday presents for this year (in order of 'appearance'):

1st- jj lin concert tickets from my sister

2nd- new balance sports shoes from my mother

3rd- soft toy dog from ang si han

4th- qing fei de yi on the guitar from ying teng and uncle

5th- wallet also from ms woo and yu ning

6th- cake from the whole class? or also from ms woo and uncle

7th- yellow highlighter and message from shi min and ying min

8th- photo frame and card from lynn

9th- steamboat dinner from dad and mum

10th- cake from my aunt

11th- necklace from my cousins

12th- famous amos cookies from joanne auntie

etc? i sure hope so. haha...

i was very touched by what yingteng and yuning planned for me on friday. thanks guys! and to think i was still telling yuning in the morning that i don't think i'll be getting any surprises this year. haha. feel so bad. >.<

i was really quite pissed off with the class. they sure took their own sweet time to turn up for the cake-cutting. it's not like i really wanted you all to be there. i'm perfectly fine with your absence. ying teng and some of the others who were there early were enough. and because of your PUNCTUALITY, we were all late for gp lesson. and to think those who were late went for lessons first! it was really very disappointing to see this kind of attitude coming from the class, especially when yingteng had already smsed you all beforehand. it really goes to show how much my birthday mattered to some of you. i guess you all were only there for the cake right? well, at least you got what you wanted. the cake was really worth eating.

yesterday after mother's day dinner, my sis and i went to dhoby ghaut to meet my cousin. we went around the CBD area for cakes and donuts. didn't spend a single cent though. =X the food was really quite good and expensive too. -.- shall have them again when i'm richer.

okay. i'm supposed to have finished this 2500 word essay for csc by yesterday, but i've only written 650 words. sigh. i guess i will have to work harder to finish it.

blogging feels like a chore now. haha.

ps: stop giving me the wrong hints!!!

-siLvia

; 10:23 PM

Saturday, March 28, 2009

wow. after like more than a month, i'm finally back to blog. haha.

lots of things have happened since then. the march common tests, dinner at hyatt hotel with lynn's mother's company, kbox outing during the march holidays with my sis and my cousin, watching pink panther 2, slumdog millionaire and departures with ms woo and uncle kong, etcetra. i have had lots of opportunities to blog, but i just didn't feel like doing it. i guess i am pretty lazy when it comes to blogging. haha.

i have had been overwhelmed by many things, had given a lot of thought as to what i really want and how i should be handling certain matters. i'm not exactly sure if i have gotten answers but i guess i can only live life like how it is now. studies still seem more important than the other things.

life seems dull now and i can say that i'm quite sick of it. there has been nothing interesting recently. as the days pass, it's always just studying, studying and more studying. everyday, it's a chore to wake up, travel to school and to drag myself past the gates into the school. i know what i want in life, but it all seems so unreachable and impossible. i have to admit that i've become quite disillusionised about my life... quoting from the green school's motto, i have the passion and the purpose. however, i don't really know why but i just don't have the most important thing: drive. i know it is partly because i am so lazy, but sometimes when i think about studying, all of it suddenly seems so pointless, and i think i really don't have the talents for studying. sometimes, i feel that i really can't do it. take the march common test for example. i know i studied for it and i was pretty certain of the concepts when i went into the examination halls. however, when i stared at the questions on the paper, they just stared right back at me. had something gone wrong during the studying process? or were the papers too difficult? or was it just because i was not well-prepared for them? to tell you the truth, i think it's more of the last reason. i really don't have much confidence that i'll pass any subject this time. why must junior college life be so clustered with studying and examinations? everytime i look at other people's profiles and photos on facebook, most of them seem to be enjoying life more than i am. is it because of my school or is it just me in particular? sometimes, i have this really silly thought that maybe i shouldn't have done as well for my PSLE and O levels. maybe if i had only just scraped through them and have settled for an education in a polytechnic or ite, my life would have been better and more vibrant now. i could have a more fulfilling life that isn't just about whether i'll be able to pass the next mathematics test or whether i have studied enough and memorised everything before the next practical. there are others out there who are more conditioned and suited for such a life. maybe what i decided to do has all just been a mistake. personal test results of mine usually say that i'm suited for a job that deals with people. maybe they are right. i should have just studied management or counselling instead of applying for the As. i'm even more unsuited to become a doctor. i have neither the talents, brains nor perserverance to study medicine. there are thousands if not millions out there who really want to be a doctor. what makes me more suited then them? people in rj, hc and vj have both the brains and the passion. most importantly, they have outstanding testimonials that are plus-points to their applications. i'm not even sure i'll be able to list down 2 achievements in my testimonial at the end of the year, let alone talk about top 3 achievements. it's not that i'm like the unambitious ones who have not tried for anything or fought for a chance to stand out. i did! i applied for quite a number. and when i thought i finally had a chance with outward bound, it slippped through my fingers again just like that. are results really that important? are results so important that you deny a student a hard-to-come-by chance of going overseas to gain new experiences just because of his/her results? it really isn't fair... i know studies are important and the As are even more important. but i really have no motivation for any of it. i need something or someone to spark off that in me. i need someone to be there and to tell me: hey, it's not too late yet and your doom isn't here yet either. i need someone to push me and to motivate me. someone to let me know that: hey, it wasn't that difficult and it was really all worth it. that's why sometimes i'm really envious of those people who have that specical someone of their own. it's not that i'm desperate. but it's just that sometimes i get lonely too. but how come other people won't feel lonely? i really wish i can be like these people. then i won't need to worry about so many things that are totally unnecessary. sigh. so much for being carefree and always optimistic.... i guess i'm just tired. really really tired of my life...

i'm going for jj lin's concert later. =D maybe he'll support the earth hour campaign and halfway through the concert the lights will suddenly be turned off. haha. lame... -.-

ps: i'm so jealous of shi min. she won a pair worth $128 each. my tickets are only $78 each. sigh...

-siLvia

; 2:10 PM

Saturday, February 14, 2009

Happy Valentine's Day!!!!

met ms woo and uncle kong for breakfast at ikea today. it was really good. shall visit the place more often from now on. uncle gave the 2 of us a sunflower each. thanks uncle! luckily cassandra didn't go with us though. she would have fainted from the scare of the sunflowers. haha.

i'm supposed to be dating my homework now but i'm so hua xin, as i'm dating my computer instead. haha. ><

yesterday was quite nice as i received lots of sweets and chocolates from my friends and my lovely IP1 angel. she's so sweet. and i actually thought that my mortal was a girl. oh my god! so embarrassing. haha.

anyway, yesterday was like the unluckiest day of my life. i woke up with a sore throat, made 2 people angry, screwed up my biology test, kept dropping my phone, had to go for roadrun and 2 of my chocolates melted, covering my plastic bag with chocolate. sigh... so unlucky... hopefully, today will be better. =)

okay. i shall go date my homework now. =)) ciaos~

-siLvia

; 2:28 PM

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

林俊杰 - 让我心动的人

己好久没有你的消息

好久都没有和谈心

好想念你 总爱对我说你近来痘痘怎么那么多

如今你是否还留长发

你是否仍每夜迟回家

你是不是还爱咬指甲

oh girl 我今夜好想你呀

梦 若和你的一切都是梦

那为何我会心动

谁 为了谁为了谁心动在分分钟

风 它不肯说

云 悄悄飘过

黑夜它依旧沉默

只有天上一颗星星说 她睡了

你是否也该休息了

风 它不肯说

云 悄悄飘过心跳却说服我

没有错让我心动的人 是谁呀

愿那在梦中的你会懂

aren't these words very nice? =))

-siLvia

; 6:54 PM

Sunday, January 18, 2009

okay, since according to ms woo my blog has been rotting like mad and maggots are growing, i shall blog today for a change. =)

i'm doing my general paper current affairs quiz now. wonder how much i should charge for 77 questions? haha. just kidding... still need to complete 4 and a half essay outlines and a full comprehension, and 1 china studies in chinese question later. sigh.

yesterday was temasek's annual go green day. every class has to go to around 4 to 5 blocks for collection of newspapers, old clothes and shoes. because of leo club, i was selected to be a navigator. was in charge of directing the lorry to the different areas for collection of the "rubbish". thought my job would be so much easier as i get to sit in an air-conditioned lorry for the whole session. oh my god, didn't know that my job would actually be capable of killing me.

apart from directing the lorry, i was in charge of arranging and loading the stuff onto the lorry. the job was the same for all 5 locations. it nearly killed my back. ouch. still aching all over now. luckily we only had to go to 4 locations in the end and i got some boys to take over my job at the last location. wished i had been with the class instead. all of them had so much fun. =(( never mind, it was still a good experience and the lorry uncle was a great company. haha.

right after go green day was 33/08's very own class community involvement programme at east coast park. what were we supposed to do there? beach-cleaning! it was SO fun! -.-'' we sure got a lot of 'looks of concern' from the public. haha. nevertheless, the 7 of us were still able to make the experience more enjoyable by slacking, doing random singing and being slightly insane. =))

at the end, the whole class sat at the beach, looking towards the sea and emo-ing. it felt so comfortable. i really like going to east coast park. the place is always able to help me to relax and forget some of my worries. i HAVE to pop by the place whenever possible.

i saw li jun on the way to east coast park! couldn't call her before the bus went off so she didn't see me at all. =( it still brightened my day though. hehe.

photos times!

our lorry, with laura's hand. hey, it rhymes! lol.

at east coast park. the view is breath-taking. =))

sin yee, ying teng and wen shin, with the class and the sea as the background.

failed attempt caused by king kong yu ning.

ah... the final successful product. looks so picturesque right?

scandalous photo. it's quite obvious who's who right? =P

not my idea nor my hand, so don't murder me.

horrible hand-writing. it's obvious who wrote this too right? haha.

my zhi4 ai4 now. i don't own this though. =((

credit goes to an artist spotted at genting highlands. =))

chinese new year hamper from my dad's friend. it's so nice!

contains bird nest and chicken essence from eu yang sang. yum~

oh yeah, in case some of you still don't know, my most memorable experience from my trip to malaysia was that i got into the casino again and played jackpot! haha. the guard didn't let me go in initially, but i told him, 'huh? but i'm 23 leh!' LOL.

sorry sis, you'll just have to wait until you're of age to go in. haha.

okay, shall continue doing my work now. next time then. ciaos!

-siLvia

; 5:05 PM